Dan Staifer

Thanks Cindy. I was thinking of you guys.

2011-03-05T13:21:44.536-05:00

Thanks Cindy. I was thinking of you guys.

Dan, Thanks so much for sharing--especially apprec...

2011-03-03T12:11:01.629-05:00

Dan,
Thanks so much for sharing--especially appreciate your honesty and your healthy reminders of God's view of this circumstance. Mark & I will pray more specifically for you & Lori now. Please let us know if you'd like to process anything with us or need anything. Love from all the Tireys....Cindy

Good stuff, Dan. I agree with Sammy. It was good s...

2011-02-21T19:52:05.338-05:00

Good stuff, Dan. I agree with Sammy. It was good seeing you and to hear that your heart and passion have not dwindled in the least. May the Lord fan into flame your heart and passion and may you see may come to faith!

Thanks Sammy

2011-02-21T17:57:13.420-05:00

Thanks Sammy

Great post Dan. Short, concise and convicting. God...

2011-02-21T16:15:53.332-05:00

Great post Dan. Short, concise and convicting. God speaks through you a ton brother. Hope I get to read more from you.

-Sammy

Dan, I just got around to checking your post today...

2010-06-21T13:34:34.351-04:00

Dan, I just got around to checking your post today. Interesting questions, and great format (loved the 95 theses idea!).

I rode a bus to DC recently it was very nice (I we...

2010-01-03T21:38:40.830-05:00

I rode a bus to DC recently it was very nice (I went from St. Petersburg, FL via Richmond, VA). I think I got lucky. On the whole people I met both on and off the bus were personable (relatively) and made interesting temporary traveling companions. It is eye opening as there are certainly...interesting people on the bus and at the stations. But it's a great way to travel if you're not in a hurry. I missed a bus on my way home because it was full, you can use your ticket. They don't look at the time or date so much as they look at the destination. As long as you're on a bus going that way, you can use the ticket any time within three weeks.

Never used priceline before, but needed a room for...

2009-08-04T12:21:54.484-04:00

Never used priceline before, but needed a room for this Friday night in Lexington. I knew I could get a room at Motel 6 for $40, so I was trying to find something cheaper, or at least nicer for the same price. Tried this method and got a $109 room at the Downtown Lexington Hilton for $40 for Friday night. There wasn't quite the number of hotels/zones as in the video, so not much room to mess around with the method. I tried 2.5 star at $25-$35 which weren't accepted, but this is a pretty good deal.

Thanks, Dan, for sharing this message. Very powerf...

2009-07-25T22:35:58.121-04:00

Thanks, Dan, for sharing this message. Very powerful. I can't tell you how many times I've heard it said recently, "Preach the gospel to yourself daily." This message resonates so truly with that thought.

You might enjoy my blog where I also critique Josh...

2009-07-15T21:14:22.332-04:00

You might enjoy my blog where I also critique Josh Harris's book:

www.ikdg.wordpress.com
"I Kissed Dating Goodbye: Wisdom or Foolishness?"

Unfortunately Josh Harris is quick to point out the defects of dating but won't admit the problems and defects with his approach. Even as his own church he acknowledged a number of problems but doesn't share them on his website.

I am glad to see more people discussing this vs. just blindly accepting what Harris teaches as the more righteous alternative.

Men that say otherwise are foolish. The Bible says...

2009-06-04T16:52:33.148-04:00

Men that say otherwise are foolish. The Bible says that men and women are both created in the image of God and both should be few as co-heirs of the Kingdom of God as it says in Galatians 3 and 4.

And I said marriage isn't a business and we shouldn't treat it like one but many today practically live out marriage like out rather (like we live out our relationship with God). Much of what I wrote was trying to deal with how people think that don't have any biblical understanding. Things that I have read and heard form atheists and others over the year ad trying to show the logical end of their actions.

TheFrisky.com, for instance, (http://bit.ly/L1c3t and http://bit.ly/9pdsT) talks about living together in the terms of business minded/me-first/profit first attitude that I was writing against. Can you agree that many talk in these terms? What all ask what is in it for me. I agree it isn't healthy especially so in marriage.

But if we are honest with ourselves, is the real reason we obey is because we are afraid of punishment? While it may not be "turning off the faucet", it may be to keep from getting fire, going to Hell, getting divorce, losing a friend, etc.? We obey to be accepted/not punished. That was the point I was making. The Bible says that in 1 John 4 that punishment based love is not love at all and the work of Jesus saves us TO something more than it simply saves us FROM something.

Also, I agree that marriage is "more than sex, money, and who gets to be the boss." Marriage is about, as Ephesians 5 says,is to reflect the Glory of what Jesus did for us. A husband should lay down his life for his wife like Christ laid down his life for his bride, Church. Jesus is the ultimate authority and all have to answer to him. It reflects his relationship with his church. Any person that says pulls the I'm in charge card really isn't as this passage says.

If this is the case, Men should lead/be head by being the first to forgive, first to give up their pleasure, first to serve, first to take on the responsiblity of the home, first to suggest what is best and sacrifice. If there is problem (like not enough money), he should be willing to do what is necessary to solve it (i.e. pick up the second job). Because that is the model of Christ on the cross. Hebrews 13 says authority will be judged for how they rule.

Unfortunately, when we hear authority we hear power, not responsibility. In today's world, isn't always someone else's fault? In failed marriages, isn't it all always the other person's problem? To avoid that, the Bible places people in authority to keep that from happening (Romans 13).

The Bible agrees that "I don’t think it should be a competition, and the child shouldn’t be used as a pawn or for leverage." That went horribly for Jacob in Genesis 38.

Thanks for helping me clarify my position. I had forgotten to take some of these things into account.

Chrissy, thanks for you input. Whether you know it...

2009-06-04T16:52:21.577-04:00

Chrissy, thanks for you input. Whether you know it of not, I agree with almost all of what your wrote.

On Jon and Kate, I applaud them for trying to do what they have to do to survive. Like with Carrie Prejean, I was reacting more against Christian making celebrities out of people simply because someone says they are a Christian. I then used it to discuss why the idea of equality of every voice within every decision making is a myth speaking and true equality in opinions are myth outside of a Biblical worldview.

The Bible says only a fool will make a decision by himself and that we all have a tendency to believe the lie that we are all knowing. Also, the Bible says that we should be humble enough to learn from all people. But do really practice this apart from the help of Jesus? In reality some people's opinions have more weight than others.

I was discussing how this might work out in marriage for two people to who believe that every decision is made 50/50 all the time. I was trying to say it is an argument used by men that don't want to live up to large responsible place on them by Jesus (see below). This agrees to your point about men better more than just sex/video games addicts.

Even now, you are probably writing off my opinion as non authoritative. Why? You have made up your mind on the issue already and you don't need to listen to what I say because you don't think I know what I'm talking about. But if you read some one who had a similar opinion, you would lend it more weight. Just like you would listen to a doctor about health issues more than a bum off the street (or your husband about welding/robots more than me).

That's fine. But as a Christian Woman, I don't want you to listen to what I have to say any way. What does the Bible (God's Word) say on these matters should be the only thing that matters. I can make a case for gender roles from the Bible, what is from the Bible leads you to your position?

I agree with college for women and men. On Colbert the other night, the author of Womanomics was on and she said something many things I agree with the biggest being that woman today have to know when to focus on career and when not to and they can't do it like they have for the last 30 years (trying to be like Men). I 100% agree.

Oh, Daniel, I don’t really even know where to begi...

2009-06-03T21:33:09.021-04:00

Oh, Daniel, I don’t really even know where to begin. I will say that I have disagreed with your thoughts/beliefs before, but I haven't said anything because they are your thoughts, and I respect that. But this time, it’s a little more personal to me, so I can’t just stay quiet. I think you are definitely guilty of grossly oversimplifying lots of things here.

First, on the topic of Jon and Kate, I think what they do is their business. I realize that it sort of became other people’s business when they started the show, but they did what they had to do for their family, so who am I to judge regardless of whether or not they are Christians?

Second, I find it very hard to believe that all men want in life are sex and video games (or sports or a job to be good at). I think that’s an incredibly sexist remark against your own gender, or at a minimum incredibly stereotypical. There are lots of other things that are important to a well rounded man. I think as a joke, most men would laugh about this, but if they were being serious, it is actually quite offensive.

Third, I don’t personally know of anyone in a healthy marriage who has ever “turned off the faucet” to get what they want. I can’t imagine ever doing that, and my husband having a job that pays more than mine isn’t the reason I wouldn’t do it. I have a job that brings in a decent paycheck and great benefits for my family, and I went to college and worked hard to have that, but I didn’t do that to put me on an equal playing field with my husband either. I did it for myself. But I don’t think that my husband has no need to be at home for fulfillment just because I have a job that pays decent money.

I have never boasted in my home that I am in charge, and I have never boasted (nor has my husband) that he is in charge. I’m not sure why someone has to be the boss of everything. For us, it works best if we talk about things and find a way that both our needs can be met, or if it’s an issue that’s just not as important to one of us, then we let the other one make the decision. I don’t think that this is either unhealthy or a failure as you stated in your post.

I would also have to disagree whole-heartedly with your notion that the children are always closest to their mother just because she birthed them. Children are very innocent and will love and be closest to anyone who invests in them emotionally and otherwise. A parent who nurtures their child and spends time with them will be closest to their child. And it is possible for both parents to be equally close to their child. I don’t think it should be a competition, and the child shouldn’t be used as a pawn or for leverage.

When you refer to running a marriage like a business, I think most successful businesses have many people who take part in the decision making process based on their abilities and expertise. Marriage to me is about so much more than sex, money, and who gets to be the boss. I absolutely do not agree with you on any of this! These are my beliefs as a Christian woman with a close relationship with God.

~Chrissy Staifer

Thanks JM. Good word because the logical come back...

2009-06-03T14:47:37.520-04:00

Thanks JM. Good word because the logical come back is that I am belong to NO MA'AM (see married with children).

Thank you for writing this, Dan! I can honestly sa...

2009-06-02T13:50:12.379-04:00

Thank you for writing this, Dan! I can honestly say that my opinions on this subject have changed drastically from when I was single, to when I was married, to now having children. The whole "women and men as equals" thing sounds positive, but on a practical basis it simply does not work. God didn't design us that way.

What he DID design was a system in which two people join under God's direction, but with very different responsibilities and strengths. If a woman is left to run everything, she feels frustrated, overwhelmed, angry, and ultimately alone (no matter how much she may say she loves the independence and power). It's a horrible facade to hide behind and only breeds resentment and hurt.

If a man doesn't lead (or isn't allowed to), he feels defeated, unimportant, and has no motivation to stay in the relationship or live up to what God calls him.

Ultimately, I think men and women have forgotten that being head of the household isn't about power (a selfish reason to crave the position), but it's about sacrifice. A male lion may eat the best of the female lion's killing efforts, but when the pride is threatened, he is expected (and does) fight to the death to defend what's his. It's a trade off, sometimes with a high price. And whoever takes on that role has to be ready to live up to that level of sacrifice, which can be sweeping a floor while your wife herds the kids off to bed, walking the halls at 2 am with a screaming baby, or just doing your best at work to ensure your family has a steady income, whether the wife works or not.

I think if women understood the demanded level of sacrifice involved with leading the household, they'd gladly hand it off. :) And I think many learn about it way too late after denying their husband that role that God intended for him, usually when they want him to take it up, but he's too used to not doing it. Then the woman is stuck and you see a 35 year marriage end in divorce (or supreme bitterness, like my parents who are just too stubborn to ever leave each other).

At this point in my life, after being the woman who wanted to be equals with her spouse, I can say that I am eternally grateful to have a husband who is willing to lead our household and follow Christ as his example. He's a better husband, father, and man for it. And I'm a better woman for humbling myself enough to stay out of his way. :) It was no small task for God to get me to this place, and he is still working on me in many ways, but you quickly learn with children how vital it is to have a strong male role model for them. I literally could not be the woman, wife, or mother I am without Daniel's strength and leadership. There are so many times he steps in and takes over when I'm at a breaking point. I don't resent him for taking over in those moments, but rather it makes him that much more my hero. :) Likewise, when he gets to a breaking point, I am able to step in and be the loving, calm, supportive role I'm supposed to be to mother our children when they need it and support his discipline when called for. It's a delicate, but incredibly important balance.

And of course, neither of us would be able to hold any of this life together without our dependence on God. He is our grounding rod and sanity check. He's our father, comforter, and when we need it, admonisher.

Sorry this is so long, but I wanted to offer a female voice of support for your thoughts. Way to go! :)

~Jeanne-Marie

You always can import your blog roll into google a...

2009-05-06T11:52:00.000-04:00

You always can import your blog roll into google and google gmail as a reader. That's what I do. Tells me for example when you have a new post on your blog and read it there. I faithfully keep up with you. Good stuff!

Man, If I'd known I live about a mile from that Ha...

2009-02-19T20:11:00.000-05:00

Man, If I'd known I live about a mile from that Hagerstown station. I travelled Greyhound in college ...been to D.C. Very enlightening too!

What? You left me a cliffhanger?

Ah, come o...

2009-02-17T13:01:00.000-05:00

What? You left me a cliffhanger?

Ah, come on ... I want to know what happen to the guy next to you?

Did you have to transfer buses in DC? Did the bus driver really seem to be nice or was he really that nice? And how long of a ride was it? Inquiring minds want to know.

congrats to you and Lori...all the best.

2009-02-09T00:04:00.000-05:00

congrats to you and Lori...all the best.

Welcome to the new role and well challenges.

2009-01-19T21:12:00.000-05:00

Welcome to the new role and well challenges.

Congrats! I wish you too the best with this next ...

2009-01-19T19:27:00.000-05:00

Congrats! I wish you too the best with this next stage of your life. I'll be praying for you. Welcome back to the Midwest!

Come on ...its the Winter classic.

2008-12-30T16:32:00.000-05:00

Come on ...its the Winter classic.

Hi Dan,
This might be the first time you put t...

2008-11-21T00:05:00.000-05:00

Hi Dan,
This might be the first time you put this subject on paper, but you did a great job.
Keep up the good work.

MrsC. WV

Happy Anniversary you two!

2008-10-14T19:06:00.000-04:00

Happy Anniversary you two!

All all know the Leafs spoiled the opener though

2008-10-14T11:31:00.000-04:00

All all know the Leafs spoiled the opener though

Dan Staifer

Thanks Cindy. I was thinking of you guys.

Dan, Thanks so much for sharing--especially apprec...

Good stuff, Dan. I agree with Sammy. It was good s...

Thanks Sammy

Great post Dan. Short, concise and convicting. God...

Dan, I just got around to checking your post today...

I rode a bus to DC recently it was very nice (I we...

Never used priceline before, but needed a room for...

Thanks, Dan, for sharing this message. Very powerf...

You might enjoy my blog where I also critique Josh...

Men that say otherwise are foolish. The Bible says...

Chrissy, thanks for you input. Whether you know it...

Oh, Daniel, I don’t really even know where to begi...

Thanks JM. Good word because the logical come back...

Thank you for writing this, Dan! I can honestly sa...

You always can import your blog roll into google a...

Man, If I'd known I live about a mile from that Ha...

What? You left me a cliffhanger?Ah, come o...

congrats to you and Lori...all the best.

Welcome to the new role and well challenges.

Congrats! I wish you too the best with this next ...

Come on ...its the Winter classic.

Hi Dan, This might be the first time you put t...

Happy Anniversary you two!

All all know the Leafs spoiled the opener though

What? You left me a cliffhanger?

Ah, come o...

Hi Dan,
This might be the first time you put t...