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Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Kissing "Kissed Dating Goodbye" Goodbye


If any one has ever been in a college ministry or youth group during the late 90's and early 2000s, you've probably seen the book by Joshua Harris "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" in some form or another. It was THE dating book for the longest time. Well, you may be interested to know that a bunch of my college friends in 2002 were bored on a Mid Summer Thursday night. So we decided that burning Kissed Dating Goodbye was a good idea. I think it came after a friend was having girl issues and we were sick of the legalistic treatment of the book . So we torched the two copies we could find (see picture above). I can't remember why; I just remember it is was fun.

Maybe others have done this before but I must confess our immaturity now. Especially so after reading Joshua Harris's Blog (the author) where he talks about the Pros and Cons of the book. Very interesting read. I also heard him interviewed by Mark Dever and talked very candidly his life and upbringing and that provided more context for the book.

Two things come to life through all of this. 1) I pledge never to vilify a person based on a book but only to deal with the argument presented in that book. I will try to understand context of the person. 2) I find it funny today the extent we would go to find a scapegoat for our relationship woes. Like burning a book of an author would make us all of the sudden married. It is easier to blame some one (or an author) than actually look to the Sovereign God of the Universe to see where we need to grow ourselves. Pointing fingers is easier than admitting our own problems. The Blame Game is much easier than admitting failure. As I single person, I should have learned that then. As a husband now, I see marriage is all about taking responsibility and actively pursuing Jesus to show me my sin.

1 comment:

Steve said...

You might enjoy my blog where I also critique Josh Harris's book:

www.ikdg.wordpress.com
"I Kissed Dating Goodbye: Wisdom or Foolishness?"

Unfortunately Josh Harris is quick to point out the defects of dating but won't admit the problems and defects with his approach. Even as his own church he acknowledged a number of problems but doesn't share them on his website.

I am glad to see more people discussing this vs. just blindly accepting what Harris teaches as the more righteous alternative.