Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Confessions of selfish compassionless Jerk

Jerk- n.- Slang. a contemptibly naive, fatuous, foolish, or inconsequential person.

It is one thing to admit something. It is another to be burdened by it. I was called out today be some one close for being a compassionless jerk. It is 100% true. I'm dead to rights. I can't deny it. The truth is I have a hard time entering the worlds of other and feeling what they feel. I can enter their world and think what they think, thus making me an emotionless idiot. When people want to celebrate, I want to bring them back down to Earth. When people are low, I want to fix them to make them better. I don't think about it.

If I have been this to you, please tell me. I'm too stupid to see it sometimes. If you hate that about me, please tell me so I don't hurt you again. I am remorseful that I let people I love down more than I did something wrong. As the book of Proverbs says "Better is open rebuke than hidden love. Faithful are the wounds of a friend; profuse are the kisses of an enemy."

So if you love me, wound me. I know I am sinful and have issues. I give full permission for you to tell me. My only surprise won't be that I did it but that I didn't hurt you more.

Deepest regrets from a recovering Jerk.

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