Recently, I'm reading a good series of posts regarding spiritual maturity over at Vince's blog. He called the series "Waaaaa, I'm not being fed." I've been both convicted by it and encouraged by it. If you have ever used this phrase, raise your hand (my hand is up).
One of the greatest moments of pride in my spiritual journey was when after two years of at a great church up in Toledo I left because I wasn't being "fed". Truth be told, I was craving more Bible knowledge and the appearance of spiritual maturity without the responsibility of it. I was at a church where I kept hearing the same things over and over again. I kept saying "I've read/hear that (insert story/verse/passage here) before but. . . " every time I studied the Bible.
In my heart, I was trying to position myself as mature when actually I wasn't not really living the Bible. If I didn't live it out, did I actually know it? I don't think so. I started to then listen to the things I read over and over again and see if I actually "knew" it and lived it. I came to realize that I didn't. Once leaving that church, I began to see how good I had it. It wasn't until recently I realized how stupid I was in that scenario for leaving. How ignorant I was for not taking advantage of everything that church was offering me to serve and live out the Bible rather than just ingest Bible knowledge without Bible exercise. I also wanted my glory in a smaller context rather than a face in the crowd of then 2,000 (now 7,000 and soon-to-be 3 campuses). I have thus repented of spiritual obesity.
I realized that it is the important things that I need to hear over and over again. I need to hear my wife say "I Love you" lest I forget. I need to read traffic lights every time I drive in order to know how to navigate lest I try to live off my previous driving experience. I need to keep practicing the basics of guitar playing lest I fall into bad habits. I need to always be remind of the Gospel lest I start acting like the know-it-all God wannabe that I prone to act like on a daily basis.
It is not about how much you know but how you use it. I am happy with where I am at now and I accept that as part my past. I yearn for all now to not repeat my mistake of assuming Bible Knowledge = Spiritual Stud.